There will be whores, and rumours of whores...
Tired of today’s pop tribulations? Longing for a simpler time? Considering eschewing men forever and becoming a lesbian, or just interested in what Robbie does when he’s alone? Then ask not what Rumours Of Whores can do for you: ask what you can do for Rumours Of Whores.
In February of 2007 Rumours Of Whores rashly signed themselves up for Record Production Month. The ethos is simple - produce an entire album in one month and send a CD copy to the RPM offices. The focus on completed tracks at the expense of quality appealed to our sense of irony, and thus Rumours Of Whores are proud to present their first, eponymous album. Ten tracks, and only the barest hint of filler. Two tracks are available for your pleasure:
Benedict

[mp3]

 Rumours Of Whores have been promising this one for some time. Religion will never be the same again.
Cake Me With Vomit

[mp3]

 Dedicated to the plight of all single mothers struggling with a difficult child.
Meanwhile...
September 2006 - February 2007

Click for mp3s and lyrics.		 Burning Rubber: a tale of sex and travel on the roads of Europe. Well, why not? Takes us back to 1996 when Pete went on the road with Glam and came back with more than a suntan. This one hasn't made it out of the studio on plastic yet; it's purely digital but just as good.

Click for mp3s and lyrics.		 So Excited (I Could Vomit) was ROW's first foray into the realms of pre-ironic, half-iconic, post-90s europop. It was originally released in promo form under the name Chip Shop Boys, a shy-but-sly nod to Chris and Neil. Following a cease and desist letter from some two-bit, half-wit outfit, CSB ceased trading in July of 2006 and shut up shop. Never ones to let a good song go to waste, Rumours Of Whores re-formed, re-mixed and re-released. We got the idea from Frankie. No promos this time: we can't afford it, but that's nothing new. So listen here...
About us: Rumours Of Whores produce music. We refuse to over-produce, partly because of idealism and partly because we're not very good at it. We combine a deep love of the disturbing with cheap Casio instruments and a broken Roland CR-78 we found in a skip. Dannii flat-out refuses to be in any of our tracks, and we're desperate for a female vocalist to do those shouty woah-oh bits like in Go West. We'd like to see the Euro adopted as official UK currency, and we don't like David Blaine much. We're inspired by emancipation, lesbians, gay sex, cheap 80s disco, shandy and curly wurlys. Rumours Of Whores is pathetically desperate for feedback. Sadly, there's no way for you to give us it. ROW is named after this node. Thank you, Mr Thefez.